I have been thinking about empathy lately, and how at times it seems hard to find, especially when triggered, and how at other times it comes naturally, freely and effortlessly.
Here is what I found after some soul-searching (and some researching):
Empathy is a term we use for the ability to understand other people's feelings as if we were having them ourselves.
Sympathy refers to the ability to take part in someone else's feelings, mostly by feeling sorrowful about their misfortune.
The thing is, not all empathy looks and feels the same; just like not all sadness is the same; or happiness; or fear.
Empathy Means to Lean In with Compassion. It's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Tenderheartedness (I love that word), is a prerequisite.
Empathy has different facets, too. In fact, empathy also comes from a German word, Einfühlung, meaning “feeling in.” And just as there are many ways to feel; there are multiple ways to experience empathy.
According to Brené Brown, "Empathy is communicating that incredible healing message of 'You're not alone.'"
Daniel Goleman defines three kinds of empathy:
Cognitive empathy: “Simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. Sometimes called perspective-taking”
Emotional empathy: “when you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.”
Compassionate empathy: “With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed.”
'Compassionate Empathy is taking the middle ground (between thinking and feeling) and using your emotional intelligence to effectively respond to the situation with loving kindness'.
Empathy is a necessary precursor to intimacy, trust and belonging. Without it we risk staying in shallow waters.
Any type of empathy takes awareness and practice—just like any balancing act, or yoga posture, we can train the 'empathy muscle'.
I believe that empathy is the most critical ability for every human to develop right now.
It is innate in the human sprit but it can get deeply buried under trauma and feeling separate from god from each other and our own divinity.
When we reach out to others, the rigidity of self begins to soften. Have you felt this?
And devotion. Devotion to higher love. Devotion is necessary in any spiritual practice, but it does not need to be taken in a religious sense. Devotion could simply mean a cultivation of inner wisdom and a deep appreciation of ourselves, of other people, the world, and the universe of which we are part of.
The ego is not pursuing true insight or inclusiveness (anything unpredictable is not good for the ego's controlling nature) because it is vested in division: right versus wrong, small self versus unity or cosmic consciousness. The ego often values its own perspective above other's perspectives.
This is where the journey of Yoga comes in. Transcending the ego and the small, individual self, zooming out to gain a larger perspective and interconnectedness is the ultimate goal of yogic practices, along with uncovering our own light of inner awareness.
The ego cannot empathize. It does not want to dissolve fear by inquiry. It wants us to stay stuck, cut off from our heart- space and from our own inner Divinity. It does not want us to connect with something higher than ourselves.
The heart-space is the source of empathy.
According to Eckhard Tolle's teachings "the Ego is the false self or current state of consciousness of humanity that doesn't let the presence (universal intelligence) shine through. Ego, which is unaware of true source within, derives its sense of self from things, status, conditions, culture, physical appearance, relationships, experiences, stories, knowledge, history, etc"
Realizing that you are not your mind, your thoughts, or your emotions is the first step.
We, in essence, are pure awareness, or formless consciousness and we share that essence with all beings.
And when we realize this, empathy comes naturally.
